I thought Ye Olde Days of “Asking Out” died out before the unknown age of 1992.
I thought I was musically screwed.
No, really, I thought I was.
I felt lost. Confused. It seemed like the music I liked came from a long queue of what other people liked.
So I never really had a defined sense of music that I could call mine, you know?
I liked every kind of music that I have discovered and mentioned above, but what was my own? It really started bothering me a while ago that I didn’t have my own slice of rachel music to listen to when all I wanted was to crawl inside my head. Often when I listened to music, I’d be reminded of the person that introduced me to it in the first place.
It occurred to me that I needed to take a look at myself and see who I was, and what music filled my soul, not just my ears.
It hit me:
My beautiful escape from the world. Norah Jones, a visionary, filled with talent and a mellowness that streaks though my troubled soul. She makes me weep. She can heal a soul.
I’ve been listening to her since I was probably 12, when I got a hand-me-down mixed CD of hers from one of my siblings. It was probably a CD that nobody wanted anymore, but I took it, and loved her since. Since the dawning that I actually found an artist all by myself, I have been realizing there’s more.
I discovered her by myself last summer. She stood out to me as an inspiring woman who sees true individual worth and sublimity. She inspired the growing woman in me to see the beauty in my soul.
I don’t know everything about Incubus, but I found this album last November. It was at a time when I needed motivation and hope to greet the new day. This album has changed my life forever.
The music that I’ve found has influenced me extravagantly. I don’t know how, after discovering them, I could have just thrown them in the corner with the rest of my compilation of music. But there was a reason I kept coming back for them; they fit well with my soul. I listen to them, and the only person I think about is myself. My dreams and goals seem closer. I can see straight. I can see where I want to go and not feel bound down by music that binds me to another person. This music is mine, and that is well with me.
Sometimes I think about you,
Your laugh, your smile, the way you stand.
It’s the way you hold yourself.
The way you pushed your black-framed glasses back up your nose,
How you walked in front of me towards the beach.
Sometimes I think of your crooked teeth.
Sometimes I catch myself making a joke that we used to laugh at together.
Today I saw new pictures of you .
You look happy,
You look content.
It made me smile
It made me remember how much I prayed for you to be happy.
Those countless nights pleading to God
To give you direction,
To point you towards something happy.
Happiness that you deserve.
I miss you today,
Even when I know there’s no way I can see you again.
Our time is over.
But I still love you.
Remember what I told you
all those nights ago?
I always will.