One More Step

One More Step

By Rachel Bryan

I left you alone by the school

and I never felt more like a fool

with billowy-eyes,

I felt no surprise,

for the turmoil I was feeling.

 

I left that city,

racked with self-pity,

with a faint hope in my heart.

All I wanted was a new start,

but I should have looked much farther.

 

A year and a half in the mirror,

and your eyes I only see clearer.

With blue eyes like a storm,

all I felt was lukewarm,

knowing I could never see them again.

 

I try to think of another,

with feelings we’d share with each other.

And with wise time I learn from the past

and see old love’s faults at last.

I am one step closer to “better”.

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Misplace in the Crowd

I know that I am only halfway done with my summer vacation, but I can’t wait for it to be over.

It’s not that I dislike my family, but I feel choked staying here. I feel like a child the way my parents are treating me. It’s not just my parents that I don’t like to be around..┬áMy hometown is a place I left for a reason…

Today I saw him in Target. So there I was picking up a curtain rod (for the valance I made my mom in the laundry room), and I walk around the corner towards the cashiers, and there he was. The back of anybody couldn’t have looked better. I’m not going to lie, I freaked the crap out and retreated behind some clothing racks. But I was curious. I pretended to look at belts for a few minutes as I just watched him ring up Target customers.

I hate that I did it.

He still had the same quirks. Even the way he touched his face was familiar to me.

After a few minutes I checked out with a different cashier and quietly left.

I feel mad that I watched him, because in doing so I started to really miss him.

I’m mad at myself for not being over him.

I’m pissed that my parents are being controlling.

I’m angry that I feel powerless with no money or sense of direction.

I don’t know what to do.

Is it bad that I want to run away? Just run, get out of here. I want to load my VW Bug up with everything I own and ┬ájust drive somewhere. Anywhere else. I just want to leave and go to a new town and meet new people who I don’t know. People whose quirks I haven’t grown to love. These people won’t have names that make my heart sullen to hear, or faces that look perfectly familiar. They will be strangers, and I will not feel anything at all for them. And maybe I will forget how much I loved him, and misplace his name in the crowd.